


The Loophole to Clause Five

by stifledlaughter



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Kuroko Tetsuya is a Little Shit, M/M, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21363136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stifledlaughter/pseuds/stifledlaughter
Summary: The landlord finds Kagami Taiga to be a nice boy, but a bit odd - muttering to himself in the hallways, for example. But he supposes it is charming how lovingly he talks about his partner abroad, so it's hard to fault him.-----In order to stay in the single-person apartment for Kagami's NBA training summer in Chicago, Kuroko has use his misdirection to hide his presence there. This should be easy.Right?
Relationships: Kagami Taiga/Kuroko Tetsuya
Comments: 2
Kudos: 175





	The Loophole to Clause Five

**Author's Note:**

> I adore outsider POV fanfics, but haven't really written one before! So this is my stab at it.  
Also I know absolutely NOTHING about the NBA and their training schedules so please just roll with it. Every single thing I know about basketball comes from KnB and Space Jam.

Samwell Jenkins generally didn't have too many problems with his tenants - after all, his niche market of "month-to-month rentals for athletic teams and their affiliates" generally found that the clientele who rented out his apartments were strictly watched by their coaches or administrators themselves. Granted, there was some shenaniganery here and there (_"Youths," _he thought to himself as he adjusted his aching back in his chair) but overall, he felt fairly at ease for most of his agreements. 

This latest person wasn't an exception - although he was surprised by the LA accent that came out of the Japanese basketball player's mouth when he sat down and started to ask questions about the apartment forms. He quickly learned that Kagami Taiga was a Japanese basketball player who had grown up in L.A, which was an odd combination that in the end clearly worked in his favor, athletically.

"You're here with the Bulls, right?" asked Jenkins after he had squared away all of the bureaucratic details. 

"Yeah, just the summer training camp. I'm actually moving out a few days earlier than this lease says but the team's covering, I think, even if I'm not there." Kagami tried to smile at the landlord, but Jenkins startled a bit. Nice boy, if a bit fearsome looking. He probably did quite well on the court. Sometimes, Jenkins did a search on athletes that he housed; maybe he'd do a quick Google on this one later. 

"So, you know the rules - quiet hours are after 10pm, no painting or altering the rooms at all, no pets, and your team is handling all of the rent deposits so you just need to give the keys back in the lockbox when you're done. Any questions?" Jenkins shuffled the papers, looking around for his nice pen. It always got misplaced. 

"There's a front and a back entrance to the building, right?" asked Kagami, who's eyes darted to the door and back as Jenkins hunted down his pen.

"Yes, most tenants prefer the front entrance, they stop and pick up their mail there. But the back is particularly useful for coming in after 11pm, when we close off the front entrance. Aha!" Jenkins triumphantly held up his pen. He took the key envelope and handed it to Kagami. "Welcome to Rosewood Apartments for the summer, Kagami Taiga, I hope you enjoy your time with us."

Kagami smiled, and Jenkins thought he looked slightly strained. "Y-yep! Thank you, sir!" He got out of the chair, nearly bonked his head on a hanging lamp, and scooted out of the room, closing the door behind him. 

Odd boy. But then again, like artists, athletes had their particularities.

\-----

"You can't just appear in the window of the door!" hissed Kagami as he rounded the corner to see Kuroko sitting on the couch, holding Nigou to his chest. "What if he had seen you?"

Kuroko shrugged and placed his chin on Nigou's head. "After my training with Coach, you know that it is nearly impossible for anyone to see me if I do not want to be seen." 

Kagami grumbled but he knew it was true. They'd even tested it in public places like Shibuya - Kuroko spoke aloud and people around him didn't hear him or see him unless he wanted it so.

It was kind of terrifying, having a semi-magical boyfriend. 

"Are you glad I did not choose the life of an assassin, Kagami-kun?" asked Kuroko sweetly as he raised up one of Nigou's paws and mimed a tiny stabbing motion.

"Jesus, Kuroko! You can't just say shit like that!" It was _really _terrifying having a semi-magical boyfriend. 

"It'll make me living with you that much easier," said Kuroko, putting Nigou's paw down. "And Nigou too. He has also been trained. He is not as good as I am but he knows when to keep quiet when I carry him in my duffel bag from outdoors." Kuroko gently booped the top of Nigou's head. "It will work. I will make this work."

\---

When Kagami had been told he had to do a summer training camp in Chicago before he was to join the NBA in the fall, he had rightfully assumed that his housing would sadly be meant for one person. 

What the NBA did not know is that Kagami Taiga had a very strong willed boyfriend who was unwilling to comply with that, and made it into two-person housing. 

\-----

_(2 months earlier)_

"I need to practice my English, and I can do work online to make money in the meantime," said Kuroko the night that they were discussing the offer from the Bulls. 

"But the contract is pretty clear that only one person is allowed to live in the room, it's right there in clause five," said Kagami, confused. "I mean, I really want you there, for sure, but I don't understand how it could work."

Kuroko tilted his head and said, plainly, "How would they ever know if another person was in there if no one saw an additional person in there?"

Kagami blinked. "I- oh. Oh. Uh..." He sometimes forgot the effect Kuroko had on others, as by now most of their friend circle was fairly decent at seeing him. 

Reaching out, Kuroko took Kagami's hand and said, "I'm determined to make this work. I do not want to be away from Kagami-kun too long, and it is important for me to be with you while you train. So I will work extra hard before we go to ensure that I can be as invisible as possible."

Kagami sighed. He knew that determined look. He had seen it topple championships. "Okay. Let's do it."

\-----

As Jenkins suspected, the new tenant was polite and kept to himself mostly. He was pleased that it worked out well, and made a note to make Kagami feel welcome as he met into him in the halls. 

There was just one odd thing. 

He usually heard the Kagami speaking in Japanese walking down the hall, and normally assumed it was that new thing where people spoke into their headphones when they were on the phone. It was getting harder and harder to tell if someone was talking to themselves or on the phone, but he at this point assumed anyone under 40 was talking with someone through earbuds. 

Except with Kagami, the few times he saw him turn the corner while speaking, he didn't have headphones in, and sometimes his head was tilted downwards, like there was someone there next to him. But there was never someone there.

The first few times he merely observed it, he simply walked by, but finally, once, as he caught Kagami talking in the hall, he said, "Excuse me - do you have headphones in?" Perhaps they were newfangled ones that went under the shirt? 

Kagami startled and went, "Oh- sorry- was I being loud?" He looked embarrassed, and his eyes darted to the floor and back. 

Jenkins laughed. "Oh, not really- I just couldn't tell if you had headphones in and were talking to someone over in Japan." Now that he thought about it, wouldn't it be unusually late there with the time difference right now? 

Kagami shook his head and glanced around. "Ah, no I... just... sometimes talk out loud as if my friends were here. It helps. You know, with being so far away." 

Oh, the poor boy. "Well, my boy, if you're ever in need of company, the building has the weekly happy hours down at the pub on the corner, I'm sure they'd be glad to have you."

Kagami bowed and then flushed, straightening up, remembering he was not in Japan. "Ah, right- thank you, sir." 

Jenkins noticed that Kagami sped away after that, whipping around the corner. He suppose it was a bit embarrassing to be caught talking to yourself, but the boy was so far away from home, so he couldn't be blamed for it.

\---

"Are you _sure_ he didn't see you?" hissed Kagami as they closed the door to their apartment.

"Yes, when he started to talk to you, I held back and went up the stairs," Kuroko said. "What did you tell him?"

"I said I talked out loud because I was lonely and missing my friends, and then I bowed even though we're in America because I can't break the habit now," muttered Kagami, "So now I seem like a total idiot."

"It's hard to escape being Bakagami even outside of Japan, isn't it, Kagami-kun?"

"Sh-shut up!"

\----

The next time Jenkins runs into Kagami in the hall, Kagami's carrying a full load of laundry. 

Unfortunately, Jenkins literally _runs into_ Kagami in the hall, sending the basket flying, spewing clothes everywhere.

"Oh no - I'm so sorry- let me help you clean that up," said Jenkins, panicking and grabbing at items.

"It's okay, you don't have to-" and then Kagami froze as Jenkins squinted at the item he was holding. 

"Is that... a tiny baby Bulls jersey?" 

"Uhhhhhhh," said Kagami, panic starting to creep up into his face. "Yes. Yes it is." 

"Do you have children?" asked Jenkins, looking over the athlete. He supposed that at his age, it was _possible_ to have a child, but glancing down at the young man's ring finger, there wasn't anything there. The plot thickened. 

"Well... you see...uh... my partner and I were thinking of adopting some day. So I keep that around. You know." Kagami was deeply flushing read and started to scramble to pick up the other stuff. "After I'm done being in the NBA and all. It wouldn't be fair if I was always away, and I still have a lot to learn and stuff."

Jenkins hadn't pegged the rising star athlete (yes, he had done a Google search on him - and was _impressed_) to be a family man, but it was almost sweet in a way, how much he seemed to already care about the children he didn't even have yet. 

"Ah, well, best of luck then!" said Jenkins cheerily. "But there's still time for that down the road."

"Right. Yep. Right!" said Kagami, who then scrambled to pick up the rest of the laundry and fled. Jenkins started to stroll back to his office, and then halted.

Wait. 

If they didn't have the baby yet, why was it in the laundry?

\-------

"Ugh, he probably thinks I'm such a weirdo," sighed Kagami as he walked over to the couch and dumped the laundry on top of Kuroko. "Didn't see you helping much there."

"What did you expect me to do, Kagami-kun?" questioned Kuroko, peering up through a pile of t-shirts and shorts. "Inform him of my presence to take the pressure off of you?" 

Kagami threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know! Maybe-" but he was cut off by Nigou, who bounded up on top of Kuroko to pick out his jersey and drag it over to Kagami. The dog nudged at Kagami's ankle, looking up at him. 

"He would like you to dress him, Kagami-kun," Kuroko commented. Kagami was good enough at reading Kuroko's voice that he could tell Kuroko was absolutely having the time of his life. 

"He would dress you too, you know," Kagami said gruffly to Nigou, but dutifully poked the dog's little arms and head through the holes. "There? Are you happy? I suffered for this." 

Nigou bounded happily away to go off in the corner to eat, and likely get his jersey messy again.

Kagami settled onto the couch, picking clothes off of Kuroko to fold them. He was deeply focused on trying to fold a fitted sheet when he realized Kuroko was speaking to him. "Huh? Sorry, what?"

"Did you mean it?" asked Kuroko. 

"Mean what?" 

Kuroko looked down, and then back up at Kagami again, his eyes sincere. "When you said we would adopt after you finished with the NBA?"

Kagami stopped folding for a second and remembered what he had said in the hallway. "Oh - I - look, I just - it doesn't have to mean anything, you know? I mean, maybe it'd be nice but not like I've super _thought_ about it or anything-" he stammered, but stopped when Kuroko reached out and put his hand on Kagami's. 

"I was really happy when you said that," said Kuroko softly. "I understand in the moment it was just to avoid saying it was Nigou's jersey but I want you to know that I want that too." 

Kagami smiled and dropped the sheet, reaching over to hug Kuroko tightly. "Me too. I really do."

\-------

While the building Jenkins owned wasn't ancient by any means, it still wasn't stellar construction, admittedly, which meant a handful of problems for Jenkins' tenants.

There was the obvious issue of plumbing (and no matter how many signs he put up, people always managed the flush the weirdest of things) and he was forever waging war against mice. 

However, the thing he did not know how to tackle with either delicacy or grace was the issue of... noise complaints.

Well, specific noise complaints. 

Parties were easy - they usually quieted after a few stern knocks. Parents of new crying babies, a little harder but he approached those tenants with both sympathy and practicality. Too-loud music, a breeze to fix.

But it was the.. ahem... other nightly activities that he was never good at addressing.

It was a Thursday night, and Jenkins was going to re-lay the traps in the stairwells because he was starting to hear the squeaks of mice in his dreams and he had to fix that somehow, sleep be damned. He was passing by one of the doors near the stairwell when he heard it- squeaking. 

"Oh, I've got you now," growled Jenkins, holding the stacks of glue traps in his hands tightly, eyes glittering with the thrill of the hunt. It was him versus the rodent hordes. 

It wasn't until he rounded out of the stairwell and faced the hallway did he realize he was way, way off base.

Because that was not a mouse squeaking.

That was a bedframe. 

Jenkins froze on the spot. _Oh, dammit._ He suddenly had a flashback to being an RA in college, just as awkward then as he was now about these things. Except this time he can't just hand off the issue to his hall director. 

And then, oddly, the sounds stopped, and then-

"Nooooooo, Tetsuya, I miss you, come back over here," he heard through the (damnably thin) door, and then he faintly heard someone responding in Japanese, laughing softly. 

"You're too far away! You're like... miles away." Again, there was a polite, quiet laugh, and Jenkins wondered what the hell was going on, because if that was the tenant he thought it was, he sure didn't see him come in with anyone earlier in the evening.

"Please just- oh, shit, I'm speaking in English, aren't I?" and then Kagami (Jenkins was certain now) switched to Japanese, finishing with, "Please, _please_, Tetsuya, I'm gonna die if you don't come over here."

Despite how unbelievably awkward this all was, Jenkins couldn't help but feel it was all... pretty romantic? Clearly Kagami was Skyping his partner over in Japan, and missed him terribly. How awful it was, to be so far away from someone you love. 

"Oh- oh my god, don't _do_ that, I can't even touch you like this-" and then there was a stream of Japanese which Jenkins (now heavily invested in this soap opera unfolding before him) wished he could understand. 

The voice, presumably over Skype, responded in Japanese, and seemed unusually soft and polite, but it seemed to rile Kagami up even more. He spoke in rapid Japanese, and occasionally with English breaking in, such as "You look so good like that" and "you're lucky I'm over here and can't reach you". 

Jenkins simultaneously felt awful for listening in but also completely unable to tear himself away. He decided that yes, he was the absolute worst person, but you can't even find stuff this good on HBO nowadays anyway, so he stayed. 

He heard strained breathing, and the squeak of the bed as Kagami moved to get up, but then heard a louder squeak as he fell back on the bed. There was a yelp and then a string of Japanese, ending in, "You devious little _shit_," and then polite, amused laughter from Skype. And then-

"Oh god you feel so good," moaned Kagami loudly, clearly not caring about noise at this point. The rest was in Japanese but anyone with ears could understand the cadence of "Don't stop" over and over again.

Wow. Skype must have _really_ improved since he last used it. Maybe he was using one of those newfangled technologies for long-distance couples...

He _really_ needed to leave now before he felt even worse about this whole thing. 

_Squeak!_

"Ah!" yelped Jenkins, completely forgetting himself and whirling around to see the tail-end of a mouse darting across the hall. He clapped a hand over his mouth and then guiltily looked at the door. 

It fell completely silent in the room. And then he heard hushed, rapid Japanese. 

The mouse would have to wait another day. Jenkins booked it down the stair well, blushing furiously. 

He had _no_ idea how he was going to face Kagami next time he ran into him.

\----

"Do you think the person in the hall heard us?" whispered Kagami. "Who was it?"

"Likely someone on our floor," said Kuroko, curled up in the blankets with Kagami. After the interruption, they decided to wait a minute for the hall to clear, although they were pretty sure they heard footsteps running away after the yelp. 

"They probably think I was watching porn or something," muttered Kagami. "Oh my god." 

Kuroko huffed out a small laugh. "Is that really so bad?"

Kagami chose not to respond and instead burrowed his face into Kuroko's hair. "It was nice before we got interrupted," he said, and he felt Kuroko nuzzle his arm. 

"It was. I quite liked making Taiga-kun stay on the bed when I was standing away from it. Taiga-kun looked so needy."

Kagami, if possible, blushed even harder. "You - you can't just _say _things like that, Tetsuya."

Kuroko tilted his head up to meet Kagami's lips. "Let's stop speaking then."

\------------

"Thank you for your hospitality," said Kagami, bowing to Jenkins as he handed over his keys. "I enjoyed my stay here in Chicago."

_How polite!_ thought Jenkins. "Well, it's been a pleasure having you as a tenant, and I hope that if you're in the Chicago area, you will rent from us again." 

"Yes! You too." Before Jenkins could respond, Kagami waved. "Ah, looks like my taxi has arrived!" and bolted, bringing the last of his suitcases with him. 

_Odd boy, but nice, _Jenkins thought before turning back to his desk and to the piles of documents he had been avoiding. _Back to work I suppose..._

\---- 

"'You too'?" muttered Kagami, throwing his lugging in the back of the taxi. "_Y__ou too?' _That's worse than telling the waiter to enjoy their meal. I literally told him to rent from his own building."

"Yes, that is a bit foolish," Kuroko noted as he heaved his own suitcase into the taxi. "However, we should count this as a success - I lived with you as a ghost for an entire summer."

"That is good to know," acknowledged Kagami as they settled into the back of the taxi together. "If we ever do this again."

"So... Kagami-kun..."

"Yeah?"

"Did you bow as well?"

"You don't even have to ask! I know you saw it through the window!" 


End file.
